THE SOLO TRAVELLER
Your world. Your way.
The Loneliness Question – A Health and Wellbeing Series
Photographer: Lucia Durdos | Unsplash.
Not all solitude is the same
Briefly …
From quiet contentment to unexpected isolation, why do some moments alone feel different and what helps us shift them? We asked those who know it and have lived it to share how they move through loneliness on the road.
Amanda Lambros
Amanda photographed by Red Eclectic.
Amanda is a relationship therapist, clinical supervisor and sexologist with over 25 years’ experience helping clients experiencing loneliness, including those travelling or living independently.
Loneliness isn’t simply about being alone, it’s about a perceived lack of meaningful connection. I often see clients who are surrounded by people yet feel deeply isolated, as well as solo travellers who initially feel liberated but later encounter emotional dips when novelty wears off. The key difference lies in intentional connection. Those who manage loneliness well tend to actively create moments of belonging, whether through conversations with strangers, structured routines, or maintaining emotional touchpoints with people back home.
For solo travellers, a few practical strategies make a significant difference:
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Building micro-connections daily, even brief chats with locals or fellow travellers, can boost your mood.
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Create rhythms for yourself, such as morning rituals or regular check-ins with loved ones.
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Choose connection-friendly environments like group tours, co-working spaces or communal stays.
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Reframe solitude as choice rather than absence – this psychological shift is powerful.
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Notice emotional patterns, because loneliness often comes in waves not permanence.
“Reframe solitude as choice rather than absence – this psychological shift is powerful.”
Loneliness also has a physiological component – it can heighten stress responses and impact sleep and mood, which is why proactive strategies matter. The travellers who thrive are not the ones who avoid loneliness entirely, but the ones who respond to it with curiosity rather than fear.
You can connect with Amanda via her website https://www.amandalambros.com
Dr Jo Lukins
Jo visiting Fort Worth, Texas.
Jo has a PhD in Psychology, over 30 years of experience, and a breadth of knowledge in the sports, organisational, and educational domains. Throughout her career, Jo has worked with elite athletes and outstanding professionals, giving her a unique insight into the world of success.
In your work, how do you distinguish between being alone and experiencing loneliness? Does that difference matter more now than ever?
A helpful way to think about being alone versus being lonely is to recognise that being alone is a situational experience. It is defined by being present in a space where there is an absence of others. The emotional tone that goes with being alone may vary substantially from individual to individual, and moment to moment. In contrast, loneliness is often characterised by a lack of joy or positive emotional connection.
Feeling lonely or experiencing loneliness is an internal sensation of painful discomfort from feeling disconnected from others. This feeling is present regardless of whether someone else is present. In fact the loneliness felt in the company of others is often reported as more negatively impactful than if others were absent.
Solo travel is often framed as freedom, but it can also bring moments of disconnection. What tends to tip that balance from solitude into loneliness?
The feeling of disconnection experienced in loneliness can be described as a helplessness that the points of connection we desire are absent. Loneliness during solo travel often comes when the wish to share a moment, experience or understanding with another is not available to us.
You’ve spoken about gratitude as a tool. In practical terms, how can someone use it when they find themselves feeling isolated on the road?
Gratitude is the antidote to so many of life’s emotional and psychological challenges. The beauty of gratitude is that it starts by refocusing our thinking from what is absent to the richness of experience. When we engage in a moment of gratitude, we turn our attention to our blessings. It might be appreciation for the time we have allocated to travel, the financial position that allows for our current adventure, or a reflection back to elements of the journey that have been enjoyable or made us wiser.
“The beauty of gratitude is that it starts by refocusing our thinking from what is absent to the richness of experience.”
To maximise the benefits gratitude brings, this can be enhanced through the practice of savouring. When we savour an experience, we not only remember the event but transport ourselves in a way to have a moment where we mentally relive the experience. Think of the last great meal you had on your travels. When you think about the experience, can you remember in detail where you were, how it was presented, the smells and your senses as you ate the meal? Savouring is a powerful way to maximise gratitude’s benefits.
For someone travelling alone and quietly struggling, what is one shift in perspective or behaviour that can help them reconnect, either with themselves or with others?
Rather than a single shift, Jo points to a range of small, practical ways to re-establish connection in those moments:
Connect with a loved one. Is there a friend or family member you can reach out to? Either for a conversation, a text message, or send a photo between each other to connect.
Ask for help. Trust your friends and family and share the goals and plans you have in place. Let them know where you need assistance and how you would appreciate their help.
Connect with a stranger. Moving through loneliness can often be assisted by reaching out to someone else. Finding an opportunity to connect with someone you don’t know (even for a brief moment whilst waiting for a coffee, in the laundromat, or sitting next to you on a plane). Just remember to use all your usual personal safety strategies when speaking with a stranger!
Journal. A notebook as a place to write down your thoughts, feelings, challenges and gratitude moments can be a helpful way to organise your thinking and a way to take the jumble out of your head and onto the page.
Work with a coach, mentor or trainer. A good coach is an integral part of your support system. A coach can take responsibility of much of the decision making, the plan, help keep you focused, provide feedback and importantly, invest in you.
Lead by example. Your mood is catching. What are you like to be around while you are working on your project? If you are dragging your feet, complaining, or grumble to others, don’t be surprised if people don’t want to actively support you. Enthusiasm is contagious.
Support others. It is much easier to appreciate the generosity of others when you provide that same support. Who can you support? How can you support them?
You can connect with Jo via her website https://www.drjolukins.com
Dr Nicole Anders
Taken further, the experience of loneliness is not only psychological, but physiological, shaped by how our bodies respond to stress and safety. Nicole is a psychologist with Trauma Recovery Yoga, where she specialises in supporting individuals healing from trauma through evidence-based psychological practices integrated with mindful, movement-based therapeutic approaches.
I see loneliness, especially in the context of trauma and addiction, as more than just being alone. It’s a deep, embodied sense of disconnection that often begins when a person’s need for safety, trust, or belonging has been disrupted.
Trauma reshapes how we relate to others. When someone has experienced hurt, abandonment, or instability, the nervous system adapts by staying guarded. Even when a connection is available, it may not feel safe. This creates a form of loneliness that isn’t about the absence of people but the absence of felt connection.
In this state, loneliness often becomes closely tied to addiction. Many of the individuals I work with don’t turn to substances or compulsive behaviours out of weakness, but as a way to cope with unresolved emotional pain. These patterns can offer temporary relief, but they also deepen the sense of isolation over time, reinforcing both the trauma and the loneliness.
What emerges is a cycle: trauma leads to disconnection, disconnection fuels loneliness, and loneliness increases the need for coping mechanisms that can evolve into addiction. Breaking that cycle requires more than social interaction. It requires rebuilding a sense of safety within the body and in relationships.
You describe loneliness as a felt absence of connection rather than simply being alone. How does that distinction show up in the body, particularly for someone carrying trauma?
I often see this as a body-level experience, not just a thought. Even in safe environments, their bodies don’t register safety. People describe a tight chest, shallow breathing, or a constant sense of alertness. Trauma can reshape the body’s stress response, making it more reactive and slower to settle, even when the immediate danger is no longer present (Bremner 2006).
For solo travellers, unfamiliar environments can heighten both freedom and vulnerability. How might trauma influence the way someone experiences those moments on the road?
Solo travel can feel freeing, but for someone with trauma, it can also heighten unpredictability. New environments may trigger hypervigilance – constantly scanning for risk – or the opposite, emotional shutdown. Moments that are meant to feel expansive can instead feel overwhelming, especially without familiar anchors of safety.
You speak about the nervous system staying guarded even when connection is available. What are some early signs that someone is operating from that place, rather than from a sense of safety?
Common signs include difficulty trusting others, overanalysing social interactions, and feeling emotionally distant even in conversations. Physically, it may show up as tension, restlessness, or fatigue. People often say, “I’m with others, but I don’t feel connected,” which is a strong indicator that the body is still in a protective state. Trauma can reshape the way our brains process stress and emotion, which can influence not only how we feel, but how we might connect with others (Bremner 2006).
The link between loneliness and coping behaviours is powerful. In a travel context, what should people be aware of when it comes to patterns that may deepen isolation rather than relieve it?
It’s important to notice coping habits that numb rather than support, like excessive scrolling, drinking, or withdrawing from meaningful interaction. These can offer short-term comfort but, over time, reinforce disconnection. The key is awareness: asking, “Is this helping me feel more grounded, or more removed?”
You mention that breaking the cycle requires rebuilding a sense of safety. What are some practical, self-directed ways a solo traveller can begin to do that, both internally and in how they relate to others?
Start with the body. Simple grounding practices, such as slow breathing, orienting to your surroundings, or mindful walking, can help regulate the nervous system. Creating small routines, like visiting the same café or checking in with a trusted person, builds familiarity. Safety grows through consistency, not intensity.
“Creating small routines, like visiting the same café or checking in with a trusted person, builds familiarity.”
Loneliness isn’t something we solve by adding more people; it shifts when the body feels safe enough to receive connection. Travel can actually be a powerful space for healing, but only when approached with self-awareness and compassion. The goal isn’t to avoid discomfort, but to stay present with it in a regulated way.
Source: Bremner, J D. (2006). Traumatic stress: effects on the brain. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4).
You can connect with Nicole via her website https://traumarecoveryyoga.org
Daniel Battaglia
Daniel is the Founder and CEO of Parksy, a peer-to-peer parking marketplace with over 120,000 members that he has built since 2011 without co-founders or investors. That has meant plenty of solo decision making, quiet evenings after his team has logged off, and times where he is the only person at the dinner table. On paper, that sounds like a recipe for loneliness, but for Daniel, it hasn’t worked out that way.
I've travelled solo through more than 30 countries and spent long stretches working alone as a bootstrapped founder, and the thing I've learned is that loneliness and being alone are completely different experiences. You can feel desperately lonely in a room full of people and perfectly content sitting by yourself in a café in Rome.
The trick for me has been building routines that create connection without depending on one person or one place. When I travel solo I always eat at the bar rather than a table; you end up talking to the bartender, the person next to you, and the chef. Being fluent in Italian helps in some places, but the principle works everywhere. People want to connect. You just have to make yourself available for it.
“People want to connect. You just have to make yourself available for it.”
The other thing that's kept loneliness at bay is having work that genuinely matters to me. When you're building something that helps real people solve a daily problem, you feel connected to a purpose even when you're physically alone. That sense of meaning is underrated as an antidote to loneliness.
My practical tips for solo travellers are to learn a few phrases in the local language, stay in smaller hotels where the owner knows your name, say “Yes” to every invitation, and resist the urge to fill silence with your phone. Some of the best conversations I’ve had on the road started because I was sitting somewhere doing absolutely nothing.
You can connect with Daniel via the Parksy website https://www.parksy.com/ and on LinkedIn here.
You are not alone. If this topic resonates more deeply than expected, it may help to speak with someone you trust or reach out to a support service in your area.