Confidence and Safety

Knowing when and how to walk away is one of the most underrated skills a solo traveller can master. Photography: Ben Welch.

The art of the ‘Solo Exit’

By Michael Webster

Briefly …

Knowing when and how to walk away is one of the most underrated skills a solo traveller can master.

There’s an unsung kind of strength in our solo traveller’s journey, and it isn’t always about discovering a hidden waterfall or savouring the local cuisine – it’s about knowing when to leave. We’ve all been there … and while most encounters can add richness to our journeys, a few, almost instantly recognisable archetypes, are always worth slipping away from.

There’s the ‘Over-Enthusiastic Guide’, a self-appointed ‘expert’ who insists you follow them down alleys and shortcuts you never asked for, their ‘helpfulness’ completely at odds with your own rhythms and desires. Then there’s the ‘Charm Merchant’, whose compliments arrive fast and polished, leaving you wondering if you’re being flattered or hustled. And for what purpose?

Watch, too, for the ‘Reckless Comrade’, a fellow traveller who sweeps you up in their wild plans – midnight swims, motorbike rides without helmets, bar crawls with strangers – and leaves you deeply immersed in the risks. And while the ‘Boundary Blur’ is sometimes easier to spot, it can also sneak up on you and become immensely draining. This is the overly chatty ‘companion’ – or worse, ‘shadow’ – who will just not leave you alone.

The art of the solo exit is the quietly powerful skill of bowing out gracefully, unburdened by guilt or fear, when a conversation shifts, energy drops, or the vibe simply doesn’t fit. It begins with an undeniable spark of hesitation – that clear and precise moment when even in spite of your best intentions, it is clear that something’s ‘off’. Trusting that tiny signal is your most underrated superpower, and the easiest exits are always best before discomfort snowballs. As decision-science researchers wrote in the ‘Academy of Management Annals’ (2022), “In situations of uncertainty, accurate decisions do not generally require high effort or complex strategies” – sometimes the fastest, simplest judgment is the right one.

“… when even in spite of your best intentions, it is clear that something’s ‘off’. Trusting that tiny signal is your most underrated superpower, and the easiest exits are always best before discomfort snowballs.”

Leaving doesn’t require a dramatic announcement. A soft, ‘I promised myself an early night’, or ‘I’ve got to check in with someone’, can gently close a moment without closing the door forever. These are not lies – they’re instincts – and declaring them calmly and kindly can defuse awkwardness while preserving your sense of control.

Every exit, whether from a bar that suddenly feels unsafe or a group conversation that’s going sideways, is more than just a departure. It’s a vote of confidence in yourself. You’re not second-guessing your mood – you’re affirming your right to safety and emotional clarity.

Solo travel is about empowerment, not endurance. A 2022 systematic review in ‘Frontiers in Psychology’ concluded that interventions that rehearse concise, respectful statements significantly improve outcomes, making them directly applicable to those quick, polite exits we often need as solo travellers. Exiting situations that undermine those motivators isn’t weakness, it’s a way of preserving what brought us to the road in the first place. A study published in ‘Tourism Management’ (2020) found that while self-actualisation and freedom are our main motivators, safety concerns remain our biggest and most complicated constraints.

Having a mental script for exit strategies, combined with practical planning, can feel like armour rather than hesitation. I always like to know exactly where I am, and exactly how best to escape if I need to. This isn’t paranoia, it’s preventive care. Research in the ‘Journal of Travel and Tourism Marketing’ (2022) shows that perceived risk and anxiety don’t have to derail a trip if buffered by good coping strategies and support systems. A simple check-in message or pre-agreed safety plan with a friend back home can make leaving feel like an empowered choice rather than a panicked one.

“I always like to know exactly where I am, and exactly how best to escape if I need to. This isn’t paranoia, it’s preventive care.”

After you step away, the quiet aftermath is where strength deepens. You may feel moments of self-doubt – ‘Was I overreacting?’, or ‘Was I rude?’. But the truth is that each time we choose ourselves, we build resilience, and tourism studies are clear on this point. A 2024 article in the ‘Journal of Travel Research’ emphasises that travel experiences can boost psychological resilience and quality of life, especially when paired with strong coping abilities.

Throughout my travels, my intuition has mostly served me well. Occasionally, in a strange new environment, it has felt almost like paranoia, but as cognitive scientists explain in ‘Frontiers in Psychology’ (2021), intuition is “… the learned, positive use of unconscious information for better decisions or actions.” In other words, it’s not emotionally overburdened superstition, it’s a skill.

I have always found it helpful to remind myself that I am not going to let anyone make me a spectator in my own story. Photography: Gaspar Zaldo.

Solo travel isn’t only about broadening our map, it’s about widening our self-trust, and an important exit done with grace sends that message loud and clear. I have always found it helpful to remind myself that I am not going to let anyone make me a spectator in my own story … and sometimes, the wisest and safest move is simply to step away with gratitude.

References

Gigerenzer, G., and Gaissmaier, W. (2022). Heuristic decision making. Academy of Management Annals, 16(1).

Li, M., & Cao, H. (2022). A systematic review of communication interventions in stressful contexts: effects on confidence and outcomes. Frontiers in Psychology, 13.

Kolarczyk, S., Schmidt, S., and Volz, K. G. (2021). Intuition in decision making: a systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 12.

Luo, J. M., and Lam, C. F. (2020). Solo travel: motivations, benefits, and constraints. Tourism Management, 81.

Luo, J. M., and Lam, C. F. (2022). Coping with perceived risks in solo female travel: the moderating role of online psychological-social support. Journal of Travel and Tourism Marketing, 39(6).

Wang, L., Xu, H., and Liu, B. (2024). Travel experiences, resilience, and quality of life: a moderated mediation model. Journal of Travel Research, 63(2).

Michael Webster is The Solo Traveller’s International Community Development Lead.