The Solo Traveller
Your independence, passion, and lifelong memories.
Transitions
Jo Hayes meeting His Holiness, the late Pope Francis, at the Vatican in 2023. Photography: Vatican Media.
The solo travel ‘bliss bomb’
For most of her adult life, Jo Hayes has been “… very independent and adventurous, keen to explore new things, and experience places and cultures beyond ‘the norm’. And I’ve long been super happy to fly solo. People often see me as an extrovert because so much of my work is in a public capacity with lots of ‘presenting’, and I’m very confident in that role … plus, I’m very social and conversational, but in reality I’m a true introvert. I love and need my alone time. Solo travel is a bliss bomb for me.”
What kind of work takes you on the road?
I wear multiple hats. I’m a former news reporter (7News Australia and the KIIS and GOLD radio networks). Today, as the Founder of Etiquette Expert, I’m an expert etiquette consultant and Catholic speaker/evangelist. Most of my travel is for my Catholic speaking/evangelisation work, but my life is rather holistic … everything is interconnected. So, I do a level of etiquette consulting on my travels as well.
My evangelisation work involves speaking at churches, schools, conferences, convents, monasteries and abbeys, as well as hosting silent retreats at abbeys and monasteries. I do this all over the world – from Rome and the Vatican (in 2023 I even met the late Pope Francis!), Switzerland, Asia (I recently spoke to a group of nuns at a convent in the Philippines), to the USA, New Zealand, and many other cities and nations.
How do you balance the demands of work with the opportunities for personal exploration?
By being intentional. Having done so much travel, and observed many other people’s travel habits, I’m explicitly aware that most people cram too much into their travel schedule – especially those who are not frequent travellers. They misjudge how much time/energy is expended on time-sensitive aspects such as airport travel and transfers. Inexperienced travellers can end up exhausted at the end of their travel (or mid-travel), needing a holiday after their holiday. I’m super-intentional about keeping plenty of margin room in my daily schedule.
Daily prayer/meditation is my number one priority. Minimum one hour of silent meditation every day, even when travelling (especially when travelling, because it keeps me super-grounded, peace-filled and joy-filled, with optimal mental clarity). Regular exercise (running, weights, and Pilates) is also part of my lifestyle, and I’m diligent about keeping this up on the road.
Wherever possible, I avoid public transport/Ubers and prefer to walk, run and/or cycle whenever I travel. This not only keeps me physically fit, but it allows me to most fully experience the places I’m visiting. I make sure I factor in plenty of ‘margin room’ pre- and post-work commitments, to ensure I get plenty of rest, keep up my meditation and exercise, and have time to do any personal exploration.
Are there habits or rituals that keep you grounded, healthy, and well when you're travelling for business?
I endeavour to always maintain my eating habits as close to ‘normal’ as possible – light, fresh, and healthy. I prefer not to eat out at restaurants but rather order grocery items to be delivered and preparing simple meals at my accommodation. For this reason, I prefer to stay in Airbnbs where there is, at a minimum, a small kitchen to prepare basic, healthy meals.
What are the greatest advantages of travelling solo for work?
I absolutely love it. I love my alone time. I’m blissfully happy and content hanging out with myself (but, as a Christian, I know I’m not actually ‘alone’ or by myself. God and the angels are with me all the time!).
I enjoy not having the pressure or limitations of needing to join colleagues for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner, ‘just because we’re travelling together’ … and, similar to travelling solo for personal reasons, the freedom to plan one’s schedule to completely suit your preferences. For example, I like to keep super-active while travelling, no public transport, I avoid cafés/restaurants and prefer to eat at my accommodation, or get takeout (healthy!), and enjoy a picnic in a park.
… and what are the greatest challenges?
I don’t see any challenges – it’s all advantageous! I’m super used to travelling solo, so I have no issue making all the decisions, and needing to be ‘the responsible one’, and ensuring I arrive at the airport on time. Some people like having others to rely on for that sort of thing, and the lack of it could be a challenge, but it’s not for me. And I never feel lonely – I’m blissfully content flying solo.
The Des Moines Capitol Building in Iowa, the United States of America. Photography: Austin Goode @ Unsplash.
Jo speaking to a group of nuns at a convent in Manila, Philippines. Photography: Sr Samuel Angleys.
Is there a destination that surprised you, either personally or professionally?
Des Moines, Iowa. I absolutely love this place. So many people hail the big cities, like New York City, Chicago, or San Francisco, but I much prefer the smaller towns. And the US mid-west is where it’s at. The people are so friendly and down to earth. It’s substance … and it’s a much quieter and calmer pace of life, which I prefer.
What is one item you never travel without?
There are so many! Apart from the ‘usual’ things, my bible and my exercise/pilates bands – these allow me to do my weights and Pilates wherever I am (a hotel room, a park, or wherever).
What advice would you give to someone just starting to travel solo for work?
Dive in! Embrace the alone time, solitude, and silence (when you’re not in busy airports!). Don’t be afraid of abiding in solitude and silence. You’ll discover a mental and spiritual clarity that many people never experience. It’ll hook you in, and you’ll want more.
Have you made friends that you met while travelling that remain in your life?
Absolutely … many, actually. One example is a big, beautiful family I met in 2021 while doing a silent retreat at an abbey in Oklahoma. They have 15 children, including five adopted children, four of whom have Down syndrome. It was just them and me on retreat at this abbey. We met, connected, had cups of tea (in the non-silent time!), and have stayed in touch regularly since. I have visited them on return trips to the USA and even stayed with them on their farm in southern Illinois during a recent work trip.
Can you share your top three tips for solo travelling success?
1. Plan plenty of ‘margin room’ (time to rest, exercise, and get to airports) in your daily schedule.
2. Embrace the solitude and silence and solo-ness. Use this as an opportunity to connect with your inner self. You’ll discover amazing things, and experience a depth of peace, joy, and clarity that many never experience.
3. Maintain your diet, exercise, sleep habits, and routines as much as possible.
Please feel free to share some more time with Jo Hayes, and discover how she shares the skills and techniques involved in mastering the art of etiquette.
