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The Alcohol Divide – A Health and Wellbeing Series
Kathryn Elliott, The Alcohol Mindset Coach. Photographed by Fi Mims.
Taking pride in powerful choices
A Q&A with Kathryn Elliott, The Alcohol Mindset Coach
Briefly …
Alcohol-free travel experiences are reshaping the way some people move through places traditionally built around drinking. Kathryn Elliott, Founder of The Alcohol Mindset Coach, shares her insights about visiting wineries without alcohol, redefining social rituals, and how presence, clarity and connection can deepen when alcohol is removed from the experience.
Kathryn grew up in Australia’s binge drinking culture of the 1980s, where heavy drinking was normalised and often celebrated. What began in her teenage years continued through her 20s, 30s and 40s, despite repeated attempts to take breaks and improve her overall health through nutrition, exercise, meditation and self-care. Again and again, she found herself returning to the same cycle of drinking to excess, blacking out, and waking with shame, regret and unanswered questions about the night before.
In 2019, at 46 years old, Kathryn encountered Annie Grace’s ‘The Alcohol Experiment’ while preparing to take a break from drinking. The experience introduced her to a community of people questioning alcohol and helped shift her thinking away from willpower and self-blame towards curiosity, awareness and taking things one day at a time. That same year, shortly after beginning her alcohol-free journey, she was diagnosed with locally advanced breast cancer – a moment she describes as both devastating and transformative.
Facing cancer without alcohol became one of the greatest challenges of her life, but also one of the most defining. Rather than numbing herself through drinking, Kathryn chose to remain present through the fear, pain and uncertainty of treatment. In doing so, she developed a deeper appreciation for life, and a certainty that alcohol no longer had a place in her future. Today, she is focused on helping others reconsider their own relationship with alcohol through coaching and corporate programs.
Since starting The Alcohol Mindset Coach, one of the biggest shifts Kathryn has seen in herself and her clients is ‘identity’. “At first, not drinking at a winery can feel like something you’re ‘trying to manage’”, Kathyrn tells us. “But over time, it becomes who you are – someone who values presence, clarity, and choice. And from that place, the experience doesn’t feel restricted, it feels expanded. You’re no longer navigating the day around alcohol. You’re actually free to experience it and no one regrets not drinking when they wake up the next day!”.
“But over time, it becomes who you are – someone who values presence, clarity, and choice. And from that place, the experience doesn’t feel restricted, it feels expanded.”
How can our non-drinking readers still enjoy weekends away with friends visiting wineries? Could you take us back to your first alcohol-free winery visit and what felt most different in that moment?
My first alcohol-free winery experience was in February 2020. It was my first year without drinking, and I went to an Elton John concert at a winery with my best friend who was still drinking at the time. What stood out immediately was how present I felt. There was no lining up at the bar, no repeated trips to the porta-loos, no background mental chatter about when I’d have my next drink or how much I’d had. I was simply there – listening, watching and taking it all in.
The concert was actually cut short due to lightning and thunderstorms, and I remember feeling incredibly grateful that I could just get in the car and drive us home safely. That sense of freedom and control was powerful.
Before you stopped drinking, what did a winery weekend represent for you personally? How has that meaning shifted over time?
Before I stopped drinking, a winery weekend was completely centred around alcohol. It was about tastings, bottles, long lunches that turned into long afternoons, and usually, I wouldn’t be driving. The wine was always the focus, and often the biggest expense. Now, that meaning has shifted significantly. The experience is no longer about how much I drink, but about how I feel. It’s about connection, environment and choice. I still enjoy the rhythm of a winery day but without the heaviness, the fogginess, or the sense that the day has to revolve around alcohol.
As winery weekends become less about the drinking and more about the full sensory experience, what do you notice now that you might have missed before?
So much more. I notice the food – really notice it. The flavours, the quality, the experience of eating slowly rather than rushing between drinks. I’m far more engaged in conversation. I listen better, I’m more present, and I actually remember the moments. I also notice the setting – the architecture, the landscape, the atmosphere of the winery itself. And interestingly, I’ve come to really enjoy being the designated driver. There’s a quiet confidence in knowing I can come and go when I choose.
Kathryn and her beloved cocker spaniel, Ralph. Photographed by Kylie Cousins.
There’s often an assumption that wineries are built around drinking. Have you ever felt out of place in those settings, or has that perception changed for you?
Early on, there were moments, particularly when interacting with sommeliers, where I felt a bit judged or dismissed when I said I didn’t drink. But that feeling didn’t last, because I became very clear and confident in my choice. Yes, wineries are traditionally built around drinking, but that’s starting to shift. I’ve noticed more venues offering non-alcoholic options or at least being open to the conversation. And even when they don’t, I no longer see that as a barrier. I simply experience it differently.
From your work with clients, what tends to be the biggest hesitation people have about visiting wineries without drinking?
The biggest hesitation is fear of judgement – what will friends think? Will I be the “odd one out”? Closely followed by the belief that they’ll be missing out. What people often discover, though, is the opposite. Without alcohol, the focus naturally shifts to conversation and connection. You’re more present, more engaged, and often remember the entire experience, which is something many of my clients come to really value. They’re not missing out, they’re just experiencing it differently … and often, more fully.
Your concept of ‘leading with curiosity’ – encouraging people to ask “What else is available here?” rather than focusing on what they can’t have – is interesting. Have you seen a change in how wineries themselves are responding to that curiosity?
There’s definitely an opportunity here. I always ask wineries if they have non-alcoholic wines or sparkling options, and if they don’t I encourage them to consider it. That curiosity matters, because it signals demand. Some wineries are beginning to respond, but there’s still a gap. I think we’ll see more innovation in this space as the number of people choosing not to drink continues to grow.
Social dynamics can shift without alcohol. Have you found those moments of connection feel different, especially in group settings?
Yes, and in a really positive way. The connection becomes more intentional. You’re not relying on alcohol to ease conversation or create energy, you’re actually engaging with people as they are. There’s also a subtle leadership that can emerge. When one person chooses not to drink, it often gives others permission to reflect on their own choices. It doesn’t have to be spoken, it’s just felt.
“When one person chooses not to drink, it often gives others permission to reflect on their own choices. It doesn’t have to be spoken, it’s just felt.”
The first alcohol-free winery visit can feel daunting, but as you point out, it’s often a turning point and confidence can come quickly. What do you think creates that turning point for people?
It’s usually one or two positive experiences, such as when someone goes to a winery, a dinner or a social event and realises “I can do this. I can enjoy this. I didn’t miss out.” That evidence builds quickly. Confidence doesn’t come from thinking, it comes from doing. And once people experience waking up the next day feeling clear, proud, and energised, that reinforces the shift even more.
Do you think the winery experience itself is changing, or is it more that individuals are redefining how they move through it?
I think it’s both. Individuals are absolutely redefining their relationship with these spaces – choosing presence, health, and autonomy over habit. At the same time, the industry is slowly responding. As more people ask for alternatives and different experiences, wineries will evolve to meet that demand.
For someone who still loves the idea of a winery weekend but is unsure how it will feel alcohol-free, what would you want them to understand before they go?
You don’t have to give up the experience, you just change your role within it. Go for the food. Go for the scenery. Go for the conversation. Plan ahead. Check menus, ask about non-alcoholic options, or even bring your own if appropriate. Decide in advance that you’re going to focus on the experience, not the absence of alcohol. And most importantly, know this: the feeling of leaving a winery day clear-headed, energised, and proud of your choices is incredibly powerful.
“And most importantly, know this: the feeling of leaving a winery day clear-headed, energised, and proud of your choices is incredibly powerful.”
You can connect with Kathryn via The Alcohol Mindset Coach website https://www.thealcoholmindsetcoach.com and on LinkedIn here. You can also find Annie Grace’s ‘The Alcohol Experiment’ on Amazon.